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Have you ever spoken, and wished that you could immediately take the words back..or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few women who did….
你有沒有衝口而出說過一些話，讓你收也收不及的呢? 以下的話讓這些女人恨不得有個洞可以鑽下去……<font color=”blue”> FIRST TESTIMONY: </font> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn’t say a word…he knew better.
事例1: 我與丈夫及三個小孩走進一間理髮店，然後大聲問道: 「你們的洗吹價錢是多少?」(blow job 也有口交的意思)，我轉身就走，然後永不回頭。我的丈夫沒有說甚麼，我想他比我更加清楚。<font color=”blue”> SECOND TESTIMONY: </font> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”
事例2: 我在高球店內選擇高爾夫球。我很不開心只有女性用的可以選擇。逛了一會後，我走向其中一個店員，他問我有甚麼可以幫忙，我想也不想便回答: 我想我較喜歡玩男性的球(蛋蛋)。<font color=”blue”>THIRD TESTIMONY: </font> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my Sister has never let me forget.
事例3: 我和妹妹(或姊姊)一起逛商場，途經一間售賣各種糖果及果仁的店子。我們在看櫥窗的時候，收銀處的男店員問我們需不需要幫忙。我答: 不需要了，我在看你的果仁 (nuts此處也指男性性器官)。我的妹妹開始失控地狂笑，而那男孩子當然很惱怒，我的臉則轉為紅色。我的妹妹永不讓我忘記這一天!<font color=”blue”> FOURTH TESTIMONY: </font> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now” she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!” The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
事例4: 在一個下午，我到銀行的時候，我剛學行的小女兒為了要消秏她過多的精力，便在銀行內周圍走。幾經辛苦，我終於可以捉住她, 當我正要向她訓話時，她竟然語帶恐嚇地說: 如果你不放我下來，我就告訴女麻女麻你昨晚親了爸爸尿尿的地方! 說完後, 銀行一片寂靜無聲, 就連櫃台職員也暫停了工作。 我鼓起最大的勇氣與我的女兒一起走出銀行外，最後記得的，是身後傳來一片爆笑聲!<font color=”blue”> LAST TESTIMONY: </font> This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any….a true story. We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?” Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
最後例証: 這是美國墨西哥市最爆笑的笑話，也是一個好機會令新聞報導員先想想才說出口。這是一個真實的故事! 想想看, 當天氣預報說預料會有大風雪，但雪卻沒有下的時候，你會怎說? 那個出糗的新聞報導員轉身向報天氣的男同事問: “波比, 你昨晚應承我的8吋(雪)呢 ?怎麼沒有兌現?”當然波比立即要離開座位, 就連整隊同事都笑翻了天!
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